Fast X movie review: Jason Momoa is the only reason to see this movie

As the engine of the Fast & Furious roars once again with Fast X, the question looms larger than ever:  just how many more movies are we in for? The question, of course, is rhetorical. I know there will be least one more movie. The franchise ran out of gas several movies ago and has been running on fumes ever since. I don’t want to sound like a broken record and say that Fast X sucks. Not saying it doesn't (it does). But chances are if you are willingly watching the movie (unlike me, a critic, who has to watch it only to tell you how bad it is) you like the franchise. And since Fast X is much better than the simply unwatchable mess that was F9, It is perhaps a given that you will enjoy this movie. 

If that is the case, you might as well stop reading this and rush to your nearest theatre. If you are like me, however, and cannot come to terms with the fact that these movies have millions of fans who love them wholly unironically, well, read on.

Fast & Furious: From humble origins to a globally-popular film franchise

The series, which began as a humble street racing film back in 2001, has evolved into a global blockbuster phenomenon. Its combination of action, charismatic actors, and over-the-top visuals has clearly struck a chord with many around the world. With each new instalment, F&F has become increasingly divorced from reality, stretching the boundaries of plausibility to the point of absurdity. 

It became so ridiculous after a point that those in charge embraced the criticism that these films have no regard for the laws of physics. Now, they just do not care and continue to churn out more and more mind-bogglingly impossible action scenes. And since there is a large audience for those, the dollars keep coming. 

Nobody goes to space in Fast X, so that is a plus.

What is Fast X about?

Once again, a ghost from the past comes to haunt Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel, who looked as tired as me). This time it is not an estranged brother, but a man called Dante Reyes (Jason Momoa, perhaps the only good thing about this film) who blames Dom, not without reason, for killing his father. That is the story. That is Fast X. Rest is filler. Oh, and we hear Dom say things about protecting the FAMILY and other members of the said FAMILY also get to do cool stuff, and there are a couple of cameos. But by and large, that is the story.

Like every villain standing opposite Dom, Dante is super-strong and super-smart. He soon gets his army of soldiers and tech wizards from Cipher after he threatens to kill the family members of those men. But if he were working alone, who did he get to do those kidnappings? But who am I kidding? This is not that kind of film, where you stop to think about stuff. It will only erode any enjoyment you might have had.

Anyway, Dante not only desires Dom's demise but also wishes to subject him and his FAMILY to immense suffering before delivering the fatal blow. This motivation is only there to explain why he does not kill his main foe, the man with whom he has nursed hatred for who knows how many years, when he gets so many chances. 

So... is Fast X worth watching?

If you are a fan of the series and enjoy the extravagant action, charismatic characters, and disregard for realism that the franchise is known for, then you may find entertainment value in Fast X. Despite its flaws, it offers the same familiar elements that have attracted a dedicated fan base.

I don't wish to sound condescending, but I like something more in my cinema. Like: an underlying depth, thought-provoking themes, and nuanced storytelling. Sure, there is space for mindless action and fun in every movie, but that should be a part of the movie —not the movie itself.

The movie's story is lacklustre, and at one point it appeared that it was satirising its own genre and engaging in some self-referential humour. But no, it remained unapologetically serious until the very end. The characters stop to punch, shoot and slam only to deliver trite phrases like "You will never be able to break my family" and "Time to end this" with unwavering sincerity. 

The acting is terrible too, though many of these actors, I believe, are capable of better. Except for Diesel, of course. He is just bad. He sticks like a sore thumb compared to better performers that inhabit the cast. "I’m coming for you, son!", he tells his boy in the same tone he uses for his enemies when he is coming to get them. For most of the movie, he sports an expression that is somewhere between a full-fledged frown and a stoic indifference (it is hard to tell!) — from which I gathered he was either concerned about his FAMILY or was not bothered that his latest enemy is quite clever. 

Ludacris and Tyrese Gibson are fine in their banter and instill a bit of much-needed wit. Momoa, though, is the only one who I loved watching. Playing against the type, he injects the film with a much-needed dose of energy. Charming and charismatic, Dante has hobbies that range from harmless feminine ones like elaborate hairdos and flashy tunics to painting the toenails of his victims (who are posed in deckchairs with mojitos in hand).

Dante is not interesting in relation to Dom, since his motivations are nothing novel, but he is indeed fun to watch in himself. 

Fast X is a step-up from F9, but does that matter?

The only fun I had from Fast X was a perverse kind of fun. I imagined that it looks like the actors and director had to live through gruelling production in multiple countries. It is better than F9, but that is like saying you prefer a stubbed toe to a broken leg. In both cases, you are longing for relief.

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